Saturday, December 08, 2007
just because i'm used to it doesn't make it any easier,
just because i don't say anthing doesn't mean i'm not upset,
just because i know the truth doesn't mean you can blatantly show your bias-ness,
just because i'm a dependable doesn't mean you can take me for granted,
just because i'm not your favorite doesn't mean i'm not your child as well.
i'm the one who sacrifices my sleep just to wake up early on weekends to make breakfast for you.
i'm the one who doesn't like having dinner outside because i don't want you to eat dinner on your own.
i'm the one who doesnt' throw crazy temper tantrums and curses you every time i'm pissed.
i'm the one who's always thinking for you and would rather inconvenience myself than you.
i'm the one you don't have to worry about...
but that doesn't mean you can put my on "auto-pilot" and expect me not to feel hurt when you neglect me.
the more dependable i am, the more you take me for granted.
the more my siblings (namely my brother) treat you like crap the more you cherish every nice gesture they do for you.
so from now on, i'm not going to care. i'm sick of being unappreciated. so i'm just going to treat you the way they treat you. why should i continue being the goodie two shoes if you don't appreciate it?
this is the fate of the middle child.
7:40 PM
Friday, December 07, 2007
today marks the end of this term! yay!
but we still have 2 papers to go before i can heave a sigh of relief! and even then it'll only be a short sigh because we have so many projects due!!!!!
AIYAH.
year 2 sucks big time.
and i sucked on radio today.. so that's another downer...
and i miss my long hair... looking back on pics with my long hair i just wish that i didn't chop the whole lot off!! =S sigh.
this year really isn't going that great for me... i can't help but to feel down in the dumps... i feel like i'm aimlessly walking through life... i have a goal, i know i do but it just seems that everytime i stress myself and pressure myself to do better it seems to have the opposite effect on me.. and there's only so much disappointment that i can take before the last glimmer of persistance dies off...
i need to find myself. rekindle the passion and drive. and then set off and start again. hopefully this time i'll be able to stand out and be that star that i always knew i'd be.
i'm all emotional, bimbotic and tired today. too many early mornings and late night mugging sessions. this week has been crap. and i've been very unsuccessful in trying to dig my brain out of the gutter.
its a typical love story.
9:10 PM
Thursday, December 06, 2007
I DROVE A CAR TODAY!!!!
and i didn't kill anything/anyone and didn't bump into anything/anyone!
so i guess that's some sort of success! hahahaha! it was UBER FUN! the thrill of sitting infront of the wheel and stepping on that gas pedal got my adrenalin pumping!!
=)
i can't wait for my next lesson!!!
ahhhhhhhhahahahhaa!
dono what to say for radio tmr... 1/2 hour shift is quite long.....
9:17 PM
8:45 PM
