the emo post this afternoon was because i suddenly felt really really....lost.

this taiwanese actress died and a friend's friend passed away all cuz of car accidents..

life is so fragile.

so i should stop whigning about how my darling precious love of my life bastard of a boyfriend cheated on me.. and how miserably boring my life is.. and how i have a psycho exam on sat which i haven't started studying for.. and perhaps start living my life.

as for the whigning that i'm fat. that's gonna continue. when i die, i would like to at least look slim.. or thin. thin would be better.

speaking of which, i almost managed to stick to my diet today.. only thing.. when i reached home i was starving and so i ate. ha. if not the whole day in sch i didn't eat.. i only had a packet of yoghurt. =) almost! having one meal a day is better than three! OH. and. i didn't eat rice. so damage wasn't that bad.

i can't believe its been three weeks already... three weeks without you.. in my weak moments i would hope against hope that you will come back.. just cuz i miss you so much and it hurts.. i miss you so much i see you in dreamland so often that when i come back to reality i feel empty.. i resist the urge to run back into your arms.. so much self-control that it surprises me.. i miss you.. and after all you've done to me. its suprising. but i still love you. and it sucks.

everyone says it takes time to forget. how much time? put me in a time machine and bring me there. take me away.