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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

you lose a little and gain a little.... you lose your freedom but you get an amazing partner that you are able to connect with....

is it worth it? am i worth it? are you worth it?

surely everyone desires freedom and does not wish to be tied down and restricted... but if you are willing to sacrifice your freedom for the one person you love, you show how much you truely love that person and how much you are willing to give up...

if you are willing to give up your freedom to that person, it probably means you do love that person a lot..

if someone gives up that freedom for you, it shows how much that person loves you....

but what if the person you give up your freedom for doubts his/her decision to give up his/her freedom for you? and all you can think about is whether your partner feels that you are not important enough for him to give up his freedom for.. what do you do then?

Meng told me about a couple who got married right after their O levels (16 only) .. and it wasn't a shotgun marriage.. they got married cuz they knew that they wanted to spend the rest of their life together... and they are still married today...

i am willing to give up my freedom.. are you?

* it is easier to be loved than to love *


10:25 PM

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

sometimes i just stop and wonder why am i here? what am i doing with my life? what is my plan for the future?

it seems like there is a never ending list of things to be done, things that have to be done.. but what about things i wanna do? when do i get a chance to put down my responsibilities and follow my dreams? when is it my turn?

a little secret... i did want to join the jue dui superstar contest.. cuz i know i can sing.. and i know i have a good voice.. (i'm not kidding.. my choir instructor said so.. don't give me that look.. i'm serious!) i want to follow my dreams.. but i know my father would throw me out of the house if i go to the auditions.. my daddy wants so badly for me to get a proper education.. and i can understand why..

but what i put my dreams on hold and in the end never get to achieve it?

all these random thoughts suddenly popped into my mind when i was reading the news this morning..

taken from www.asiaone.com

Sep 5, 2:23 AM EDT
Stingray Kills Famed 'Crocodile Hunter'
By BRIAN CASSEY Associated Press Writer

CAIRNS, Australia (AP) -- Steve Irwin died doing what he loved best, getting too close to one of the dangerous animals he dedicated his life to protecting with an irrepressible, effervescent personality that propelled him to global fame as television's "Crocodile Hunter."

The 44-year-old Irwin's heart was pierced by the serrated, poisonous spine of a stingray as he swam with the creature Monday while shooting a new TV show on the Great Barrier Reef, his manager and producer John Stainton said.

He said Irwin removed the barb from his chest but lost consciousness. "He pulled it out and the next minute he's gone," said Stainton, who saw videotape of Irwin's final moments.

i was so shocked by the news cuz it seems so unreal.. just in one moment the man we saw on television is gone. and aparently, death caused by stingrays are rare.

so if this man who has opened the world's eyes to wildlife conservation and has such passion towards protecting animals can be so unlucky.. then there is no such thing as kindness begets kindness.. there is no such thing as karma... who's to say that I ( i'm gonna shamefully admit that i haven't been contributing much to the world..) won't get shot in the heart by a stingray?

ps. if you are wondering why there are so many turtles in your msn messenger.. its actually to pay tribute to Steve Irwin aka Crocodile hunter. so ppl, put a (tu) infront of your nick name k?

on a totally differnt note.

i had a bad night.. often elders tell us that you reap what you sow.. i have given so much but in return i got my heart bruised, hurt by the sudden doubt and uncertainty by the one person that i've truely trusted my heart with..

i manage to smile and pretend all is alright when the hurt in my heart is so overwhelming that i've lost all will to breathe.... and then the pressure seems to keep building at my chest then i realise that all my muscles are tensed up and i feel like crying but no tears come I just keep gasping for air...... until finally when that big lump at my throat swells and becomes unbearable then do i feel the tears pouring down my face... and for the first time in 10 years i do not try to conceal the sound of my sobs and wails.. i bawled to my hearts content.. until the point when i got so tired i didn't even realise when i fell asleep..

crying is so therapeutic.. its should be prescribed at the doctors.. all is well now. it will all work out.. =) i love and i trust you.

ps. Charm.. so sorry i had to pangseh you this morning.. i really didnt feel like getting out of bed.. moreover.. if i did go i'd probably freak all the ppl out and they wouldn't wanna join.. up to now i still can't open my eyes properly.. so sorry babe! i'll make it up to you!


3:13 PM