this is going to be a looong entry.. the reason i started this blog is because Adrian had read my previous blog and i felt that i need to start anew.. cuz he was different.. he was someone that i really cared about.. which is why i deleted my old blog and started this one. to commemorate my new life.. with him.. bah. so there are little snippets of the good times we had.. some of the things i said..
memories aren't bad.. they were good memories.. memories to be kept in my heart and occasionally thought about... our relationship was something new that i had never felt before, the ability to put another person before myself was something that i had never experienced before... the amount of love i felt for him could not be put into words.. i would honestly do the stupidest things for him.. for him.. i would really hold a freaking radio on my head outside his window.. i pretended to like soccer for him.. i really love him.. i really do.. which is why it hurts so much.. cuz i still love him..
forever, he will be the first man that i loved with all my heart.. nothing can change this fact.. my first true love..
it hurts to write in pass tense.. if only you had more faith in us.. if only i had more faith in us.. perhaps.......
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
that cat is jealous of everthing..but its ok.. i don't mind.. cuz i love my pig.. =) i really do.. for the first time.. i love him with all my heart.. and i'm proud to be with him.. =)
Thursday, April 13, 2006
today went for our once a week "you are mine i am yours" date..haha.. went to watch ice age..hahahahaaaaa...soooo funny i died.... so cute that stupid squirrel..haha.. then went to sakura to eat dinner..
OMG.. REGRET!!!! i ate one oyster cuz i see Adrian eat until super shiok.. so i ate one juz to try try.. and now my bloody stomach is churning and i went to the toilet a few times juz now.. wahhahahahaa.. stomach pain now... damn oyster..
hmm.. i juz realised how dumb i am.. i finally learnt how to use the silly ipod i bought a month ago..hahaha..dumb person..haha..lesson learnt today..
1. don't eat oysters..
2. bring plasters along where ever you go..
3. mosquitos at night are like vampires..
4.salmon muz be sliced thinly..or not they are disgusting..
5. when he says "i love you" surreptitiously and once in a blue moon.. it means more... =)
Tuesday, May 2, 2006
aniwae.. had a great dinner with darling today.. :) cuz we had a kinda lousy date ytd.. he was so lethargic and i was kinda tired.. so we didn't crap like usual.. today we crapped alot.. hahaha.. such a relief.. :) we won't end up like those boring old couples.. cuz i'll bully him and he'll bully me like crazy.. forever and ever and ever.. kinda ironic right? supposed to be sad when someone bullies you..but we're juz saddists.. i get a kick out of bullying my poor baby..hahahhahahaa.. evil.. hmm.. i haven't blogged that much since..err.. since... christmas? but i deleted that blog.. so.. err.. muahahahhaa.. too bad... you can't see it..o rite... getting tired.. maybe i'll blog tmr..:)
Wednesday, May 16, 2006
had a gd day with baby today:) watched poseidon.kinda reminded me of armegedon..like the father sacrificing for the daughter and her bf thing.. so touching...haha.. so weird..i cried during that part..so funny..haha.. i nvr expected to cry while watching that show..hmmm.. :) i'm thankful for my darling... i really am...:)
Friday, May 19, 2006
Part one
today started off horribly. i kinda yelled at my poor darling in the morning...big miscommunication..haha.. he woke me up at like 730..when i can wake up at 8 and i slept late the previous night..so i juz yelled in the phone.."bu yao chao wo....!!" haha... i didn't mean to..luckily he didn't understand my mumbling and thought i was just sleep talking...haha!
[I can still remember this incident as if it happened ytd. I still remember shouting in my phone cuz he (oh god. I almost typed darling..) called me when he was on his way to sch and I still asleep… sleep is precious! ]
Part two
ate dinner with my darling.. he bought a bombers milkshake for me.. strawberry with oreo bits.. so i guess that's cookies and strawberries..cuz its cookies and cream right? haha.. he's been really sweet.. haha.. kinda lost my temper tho.. i'm sorry.. and i truely do love you loads..from the bottom of my heart..4 mths tmr..wow.. time flies.. scary..
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
hmm.. something happened... and i'm feeling a bit confused..
i guess.. i mean.. i know.. everyone has a past... but what if that past is still in the present? i dono.. kinda confused now.. this is not a trick question.. not some cheem philosophy question... what i meant is.. when u have a bf.. obviously he will have a past right? i mean.. surely he probably liked another girl before you.. and he probably had a relationship before you came along.. i'm totally cool with that part.. and whats more, the past is the past.. right? no..wrong.
the past is still in his present.. which i can't seem to accept.. i don't know why.. maybe its cuz i have experiences of my past coming back to me and still loving and waiting for me although i already have a present... which is bad... i'm not sure what his past feels now.. which makes me really insecure.. hmmm... oh wells.. stay tuned to find out right after the commercial break.. waahahaaa.. being lame.. hmmm.. why would the past wanna make friends with the present? what's the motive? hmmmmmmmmm.. lets wait and see.....
damn..today have ess gra test... i suck at photoshop and freehand.. i'm going to die a painful death...
Monday, June 5, 2006
my bf is vainer than me.. and that will not last any longer.. from this moment on i will take super good care of my face and make sure that every stupid black head is squeezed out of my face..
ya right....haha...
but seriously... my bf was staring at my blackheads today ( not that i have many ) and offering to squeeze them for me.. haha.. i felt my face burn in embarrassment.. wahahahaha! my BOYfriend is critising my black heads.. seriously.. i should have squeezed every stupid one of them out la.. damn... lol.. but seriously.. my bf's face is spotless other than the occasional pimple.. he has NO black heads.. ( i know he might be reading this... keep up the good work darling!) nicer than mine la.. i should feel ashamed of myself.. haha
went to cineleisure today with my darling.. to watch Over The Hedge... cute cute show.. haha..
Wednesday, June 7, 2006
aniwae.. moving on a happier note.. went to meet my darling today.. cuz i'm leaving tmr for Penang!! YIPPEE!! so sudden that darling and i had to bring forward our date to today.. so we went to eat Ajisan ( is that how u spell it?) the service is danm bad... i mean... if you are charging survice charge you have to provide good service right? its only right! hmm... but when we requested for a different seat we were told it was reserved.. then later on a couple came in and sat at the table next to us.. when they requested for a change in seats.. they got it.. OMG.. what??? and they hold the drinks in their hands.. i mean.. get a bloody tray la.. gosh... how ugly it looks when you hold the cups in your hand... no professionalism... oh wells.. whatever... then darling and i went to watch CARS at CS.. i won't spoil the story for you... so i won't tell you what happened.. hahaaaaa... but i think over the hedge was funnier.. lol.. darling and i were playing with the popcorn..lol.. stuffing it in his shirt and ears and nose...lol.. it was hilarious!! lol... when we went out of the cinema we had popcorn stuck all over us.. haha!!!!! then darling gave me something sooo sweet... haha... this gadget is the cutest!
cuz darling knew i'll be missing him when i'm overseas... so he bought this ridiculously expensive gadget to record his voice wishing me good nite.. haha.. so that i'll sleep peacefullly haha!! awwwwww! soooo sweet... haha.. i'm gushing as i write this.. hehe.. aniwae... ya.. so sweet.. haha.. i'm touched.. =) ahhhhh.... my darling...... is the sweetest gorilla on the face of the earth!
[ahh.. the names i called him.. gorilla??]
Saturday, June 10. 2006
aniwae.. i realised that i'm really paranoid.. NOT a good thing.. i dono.. i jus don't know whether guys really can be faithful..i mean.. u always hear about the guy having an affair.. i mean.. when girls go in to relationships they go in with their hearts... but guys can have a relationship for dumb reasons... such as.. oh it was a dare.. or i will feel proud having a pretty girlfriend.. hmmm.. i dono... hmm..kinda skeptical about it.. i know i shouldn't.. cuz i have a wonderful bf who i love a lot.. and i know loves me just as much.. =) hmm.. it must be too much sun in Penang fried my brains.. hmmm. . =)
[Boy was I wrong… ha.. men.. they can never be faithful.. cuz they think with their heads.. the one without the brain… ]
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Part One
a warm soft cheek landed on mine.. a sweet feeling rushed through my body as he whispered in my ear.. it felt as if we were sharing a secret that the rest of the world didn't know.. i smiled to myself as i looked into his eyes and wondered is it fate that we met?
i love him.
Love. its such an undescribable feeling. when i look into his eyes, i feel as if i've known him my whole life. when i'm in his arms i just wanna hold him tight and make sure i never let go.. the feeling is powerful and scary at the same time.
we talk about the past and leave it behind. we talk about the future in anticipation. for the first time. i can actually visualise a future with the one i'm with. i imagine a humble home. while i'm cooking he wraps his arms around me and while watching me cook he teaches me a few of his tricks.. and a few years later while he's cooking i'm with our kid teaching him the abc and cooing at the new born in his basinet.. and when they are all grown up with kids of their own, we'll be sitting on the sofa thinking back on our lives and the way we met and the way we ended up together, the obstacles we had to overcome along the way and how we finally made it this far.
i don't know why tears are trickiling down my cheek while i'm typing this.. it may be because its a beautiful image.. it may be also the fear of losing this dream...love is scary. you never know what will happen next. while i'm imaging this scenario, he might be imagining another.. and He from up above might have planned another..
i'm afraid to lose what i have now.. i've given all my heart.. i've taken a gamble. i've decided to jump into the unknown. if i lose this bet, everything will be gone.. i trust and put my whole heart into this relationship.. come what may.. i gave u my whole heart. don't let me down. i love you.
[ouch. See.. see how much I loved him? ]
Part two
you aren't growing fat until your boyfriend says so. its so rare for guys to notice something different about you so if they do then i guess it must be damn obvious. but no worries i'm glad my boyfriend and i can be that frank with each other and totally feel comfy about it. haha. and when i ask him later on if i'm fat he'll be like nooo.. juz cute cute only.. haha.. guys are cute like that aren't they? haha.
so i really do wonder what is the limit on "fat-ness" that a guy can still accept.. we were eating at marina south just now and there was this plump girl. so i decided to ask Adrian if that was acceptable. and he was like if you really become like that i won't bring you to a buffet, instead i'll bring you jogging. haha.. so what's the limit?? when does too fat becomes unacceptable to a guy?
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
so anyway.. we started off the morning by going on a cable car ride.. which made my knees weak and my stomach churn.. and when i got off.. i seriously felt like i was going to upchuck everything i ate that morning and the night before.. haha.. but i kinda feel proud of myself.. i mean.. i have a fear of heights.. espcially on cable cars.. i mean.. what if you get stranded on the cable car!! or the thing falls??? oh no! haha.. so ya.. darling was letting me grab his hand the whole time.. haha!
then when we reached.. we went to purchase tickets for the underwater world.. which is inclusive of the dolphin lagoon show.. so aniwae.. we went in.. and saw the fishies.. and suddenly... ... ... ... we felt hungry for seafood.. .. .. .. i know.. so bad right? but we were looking at the crabs.. and thinking "wow! that would be good with black pepper... " and " mmm! with chilli and man tous!" and then we were looking at the big humongous fishies and we were thinking how long it would take us to finish eating them up.. would it taste better pan fried with garlic? baked? steamed? and then we saw the sting ray... with chilli.. on the bbq.. ahhhh! can u smell it?? haha...
then after that we went to watch the dolphin lagoon show.. hehe.. pink dolphins.. lol.. they looked kinda funny... like.. err.. patches of grey on pink.. haha.. aniwae.. they are damn clever and fast.. the swim soooooooooooooooooooooooooo fast.. i couldn't even catch them with my eye.. hmm.. aniwae.. ya... they show was good... but not amazing.. i remember the one i saw in Austrailia.. it was AMAZING! but then again.. good is not bad.. =)
after the show we decided to go to the NO SIGNBOARD restaurant at geylang.. i know what you are thinking.. haha... but it okie.. i have a strong man by my side protecting me.. my superman! (wahahaha.. i'm sickeningly mushy aren't i?) aniwae... on our way back to the cable car station.. we sat on the top deck of the bus which was open... no roof!! so cooling.. hehe.. then back on the frightening cable car.. my legs were shaking after that.. haha.. no kidding.. i really felt like puking.. cuz on the way back the car was shaking a bit more vigourously.. such a fear.. haha..
aniwae.. after that we went to Geylang to satisfy ourselves....
HEY HEY HEY!!!!!!!!what are you thinking?!
we went to eat seafood la!! aiyo.. we had two crabs.. one pepper crab on chilli crab.. total $78 bucks.. so ex.. but quite satisfying.. then after that we sat bus 21 and we saw alot of chickens.. hmm.. the place is kinda scary... bangalas will be staring you up and down.. old cheeko ah peks will be looking at your boobs.. hmm.. nope nope.. half way through.. we realised we were on the wrong direction.. so we got off and sat the train back.. haha.. or else we would have ended up at toa payoh i think.. haha... aniwae.. i had a great day!
[ the pics are quite cute.. must go to the entry to see.. ]
Tuesday, June 22, 2006
the reason i love my darling so much is that he has seen every crazy side.. the whiney side, which he's not too crazy about.. and the serious side.. the naughty side ( hehe).. the sad side.. the mischievieous side.. the difficult throw tantrum side.. the flirty side.. every side.. he's the one who knows me best.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
i spent the entire day on the sofa in front of the tv today.. literally...
i woke up at 6 to take my meds.. and then i watched tv until there was a point when all i heard was Oprah's voice getting softer and softer............................ and then i drifted in and out of sleep until 4.......... darling came over to entertain me at 6... silly nvr fails to put a smile on my face.. haha... so i pretty much spent the day on the sofa analysing the colour of my phelgm.. and rushing to the toilet every 5 mins.. i drank so much water its amazing i didn't drink Singapore dry...
Monday, July 3. 2006
its to find out whether he's really that in to you. i mean, a guy can love you but does he love you enough to last for the rest of your life? maybe he's just not that into you.....
the results.
Good news. Based on your quiz responses, this guy is definitely into you. He seems to really care about you and see a future together. If you feel the same way, now is the time to share your feelings and start building something special together.
hmm.. i actually expected the results to be demoralising.. but its not bad.. i guess my bf's doing a good job.. but there is definately room for improvement.. ya? hehe.
[bah.ha.]
Tuesday, July 4, 2006
Follow your heart!
don't sacrifice one person because you don't wanna hurt another person. go with the one you truely love.. follow your heart..
i learnt it from my previous relationship. we broke cuz i wanted time to re-think our relationship and where we were heading.. and in the 3 mths that we didn't talk to each other i met Adrian while working and after awhile i really began to like him a lot. i'd check his schedule and check whether he was working that day and which days he'll be working.. i know.. kinda like a stalker right? haha.. oops.. anyhow.. then gradually we started going out to watch movies and stuff and i knew where my heart was.. then after about one month of being together my ex called me and asked me if i wanted to spend valentines day with him and that he has changed for me and all that crap guys say to convince you that he's the one for you. and then he brought up the fact that i told him that we could have a chance in the future.. and i was like....... what?? he took it as a promise but i took it as a hypothetical phrase............ if i had left Adrian just because of that "promise" that i made to him such a long time ago... i would have let go of the one that i love most just because i didn't want to hurt the other guy's feelings..
but maybe it was easier for me to make a decision cuz Adrian was a clear winner.. haha.. can you image wanting to break up with someone after 1 week of being togehter? haha.. that was one funny immature relationship...
i'm glad i went to work. and found such a wonderful monkey.. haha.. speaking of which.. i feel like going back to work.. it reminds me of the times that monkey and i had.. him playing in the kitchen and me slogging as a waitress... wahahaha! i shall go back and work during the next holls.. =) its funny how i just worked last last week and i'm already missing my workplace.....
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
do you realise that in a relationship after awhile when you transition from the "awkward getting to know you" phase to the "i'm so comfortable with you that i can belch without any inhibitions" phase?
i think we have finally transitioned. we have moved to the time where we are comfy with each other. but i think its too fast...
i was just starting to enjoy basking in the warmth of the new love and care and thoughfullness... all the little actions that showed me how much you cared for me and how much you worried for me was sooo heart warming...
its the ordinary things like sending me home when its out of your way just so that i can reach home safely that makes me feel safe and protected...
or a simple kiss on the cheek out of the blue to know that you care for me even if you don't say so... or saying "i love you" once in awhile that reminds me that this relationship is going in the right direction..
or just hugging me when i'm feeling blue and insecure or bullied while not saying anything and just enjoying each other's company in silence...
or sitting under the stars while sharing a burger and fries us teasing each other with the fries... while watching the cockroaches run about in circles...
maybe all these little gestures have been hidden by the clouds... but the sun will always shine brightly again.. right?i honestly believe that they will.. =)
happy six months baby! and to the many more to come... and i'm glad i found you...
Thursday, July 20, 2006
i will so bloody win this lor.
my bf and and have decided to make a bet. we are to lose 5 kgs in 1 month.. the loser has to do a forfeit.. and then i heard him say something about lizards.. so i'll be ultra determined this time..
i felt so tired today after school but i still persevered.. i went to the gym! wahahahahaaaa! i ran 1.8km today.. which is quite a feat since i haven't been excercising in months.. i'm so going to win la... i'm going to win .. i can do it! yes i can! haha..
[he won.. but no forfeit.. luckily.. hennnnnnnng arrr… ]
Saturday, July 22, 2006
i wrote one long blog entry. but i deleted it. it was about me feeling Adrian is not reciprocating the love, affection and care that i give him.
but you know what. i deleted it. for a simple reason. i love him. so much so, that i can start to accept that his way of loving me is different from the way i love him...
because i love him i will accept the way he is and not try to change him to who i want him to be..
Saturday, July 29, 2006 (my birthday)
i went to watch Nacho Libre with my dearest Adrian today.. haha.. lame lame show.. but quite funny.. woudn't bring a kid to watch it though... quite violent and has alot of wrestling scenes.. then we went to Cartel and ate st louis pork ribs which are amazing... and a blueberry cheese cake!! =) kinda bullied him and wanted him to sing very loudly but haha.. his doeful eyes begged me to let him off the hook.. haha.. look what he got for me!!!
now isn't that the cutest mug you've ever seen??? the eeyore on top is sooo cute la!! haha.. so i asked him why did he decide to get a mug for me..he said so that everytime i drink water i'll think of him.. haha!! i will darling.. =)
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
i went to watch fireworks!!!! BOOOOOM BOOOM BOOMMM!
after school i was quite reluctant to go cuz it was sooo far away and i was carrying my lappie all over the place and it was sooo heavy....
anyhow.. so we had dinner at Marina South the steamboat bbq thing.. haha..i totally pigged out.. but no worries cuz later i had to WALK all the way back to the mrt lugging my lap top.. haha.. it cancelled out all the calories that i ate..haha
the fireworks were BEAUTIFUL!
i really liked the golden ones.. it looked like a magical gold dust explosion in those fairy tales... quite pretty... but too bad.. didn't get to take pics of those.. cuz ..................................... my hp no batt.. i could just kill myself....
anyhow.. i think its one of the most romantic things my bf and i ever did.... so amazing.. we were sitting on the grass with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder... just looking up at the dark dark sky with an array of different colours bursting to life and then disappearing into the dark dark night.........
preettyy preettty fireworks!! amazing amazing night.... i love you sweetie! =) i felt like a pampered princess today.. haha.. =) thanks!!
Friday, August 11, 2006
i love my bf more than ever! he's so understanding.. i asked him "don't you feel worried that my ex called me?" and he was like.. "no... i trust you" .... *all together now* aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
haha.. i think he's the best la.. if it were me, honestly, i wouldn't be so undisturbed by the fact that my bf's ex gf called him.. i'd ask tonnes of questions la.. its not that i don't trust him.. i'm just keh poh by nature... ahhhhhh! love love baby!
Saturday, September 2, 2006
with you.
i can let my hair down
i can say anything crazy
and know you'll catch me right before i hit the ground...
With nothing but a T-shirt on I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you
Note: this is gonna be a lovey dovey post.. so.hehehehe... read at u'r own peril......
anyhow. i think you guys can guess why i'm writing a lovey dovey post.. heh..yes yes.. cuz i just went out with my bf. haha.. so clever..
ahh.. with my bf i can be myself.. i don't have to be intellectual, funny, bitchy, cool or sexy.. haha.. i can just be my goofy old self and do what ever pleases me.. i can say or do anything stupid and crazy and he'll be laughing along with me.. i never have to be self-conscious.. we never fail to have fun when we're together... he doesn't expect me to be like anyone and he doesn't restrict me from doing things that i want to do.. with him i really can be myself..
i've never loved another person so deeply.. ( and for so long..hahahhahahaha) and every day it seems as if my love for him just multiplies with every silly thing he says or does.. all i want to do is to hug him and never let go... he understands me so much its quite surprising cuz i think even my mother doesn't understand me that well.. i love you baby! i really do.... more than ever......
Tuesday, September 5, 2006
i had a bad night.. often elders tell us that you reap what you sow.. i have given so much but in return i got my heart bruised, hurt by the sudden doubt and uncertainty by the one person that i've truely trusted my heart with..
i manage to smile and pretend all is alright when the hurt in my heart is so overwhelming that i've lost all will to breathe.... and then the pressure seems to keep building at my chest then i realise that all my muscles are tensed up and i feel like crying but no tears come I just keep gasping for air...... until finally when that big lump at my throat swells and becomes unbearable then do i feel the tears pouring down my face... and for the first time in 10 years i do not try to conceal the sound of my sobs and wails.. i bawled to my hearts content.. until the point when i got so tired i didn't even realise when i fell asleep..
crying is so therapeutic.. its should be prescribed at the doctors.. all is well now. it will all work out.. =) i love and i trust you.
Wednesday, September 6, 2006
you lose a little and gain a little.... you lose your freedom but you get an amazing partner that you are able to connect with....
is it worth it? am i worth it? are you worth it?
surely everyone desires freedom and does not wish to be tied down and restricted... but if you are willing to sacrifice your freedom for the one person you love, you show how much you truely love that person and how much you are willing to give up...
if you are willing to give up your freedom to that person, it probably means you do love that person a lot..
if someone gives up that freedom for you, it shows how much that person loves you....
but what if the person you give up your freedom for doubts his/her decision to give up his/her freedom for you? and all you can think about is whether your partner feels that you are not important enough for him to give up his freedom for.. what do you do then?
Meng told me about a couple who got married right after their O levels (16 only) .. and it wasn't a shotgun marriage.. they got married cuz they knew that they wanted to spend the rest of their life together... and they are still married today...i am willing to give up my freedom.. are you?
* it is easier to be loved than to love *
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Love is patient, Love is kind,
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud, It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects,
always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never ends.
Love never fails.
-Corinthians 13 : 4 - 8
was gonna write one freaking long entry about how pissed i was ytd cuz my roasted pig decided to vent his anger out on me... and i felt so yuan wang.. but then after awhile.. the anger slowly subsided... that's when i realised that i've never been so patient and forgiving to any other of my exes... i think i've probably achieved everything above for my roasted pig..... i've been patient... i've been kind........ i always hope and believe that we'll make it together and i've definately tried to endure through the difficult days.....
man. i really do love that pig....
such a naughty roasted pig..............
[hahahaha..roasted pig..lol..the names i called him..cuz he was sunburnt..lol]
Wednesday, Septemeber 20, 2006
i love this song by Liang Jing Ru... i can really relate to the song.. you really need to be strong to be able to take all the obstacles, mood swings and all the other non-sense that your partner gives you..maintaining a relationship is not a bed of roses..
everything is said in the song.. ahh.. its times like this the song makes me tear up...
had a good day today.. i learnt how to do bar!! so now i can do the milkshakes drinks.. sodas.. yayayayayaaaayy! and i didn't jam the bar at night.. hahahhahahahahaaa... heng arrrrr...
yup.. that's about it.. had a good day.. had an even better night.. my baby and me went pasar malam (night market) walk walk... then i went into labour and had a daughter!!
introducinggggg....... my daughter..lilian jr..haha.. so original..
hehe... anyhow... its been 8 months already.. so fast... and still so xing fu... =) i love love!
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Adrian bought 8 strawberry smileys for me! wee~ happy happy girl.. hehe.. love loves.=)
hehe..i take for granted the simple things that makes our relationship so special..i will learn to cherish.. i really will...
i love you baby..
we went to bugis today.. guess how much i spent!! OMG. 94 bucks k.. aiyaaaaa...
[strawberry smiles were a peace offering.. hahaa.. ]
Monday, November 13, 2006
when you are stuck in the darkness feeling so lost..
even the hand that tries to pull you out doesn't seem trustworthy..
when you find that you have no motivation and no goal...
there seems to be no reason to continue down the path that you have chosen..
when you wonder about the reason for your existance..
you feel that someone upstairs must have been sleeping..
this is the time to take some prozac.. (i'm kidding!)
i'm sorry darling.. i doubted your hand. but thanks for being there for me when i really needed it most.. and thanks for being the reason that i'm keeping my sanity during this stressful period.
Thursday, December 7, 2006
term tests are coming up next week...and the boyfriend is going to zouk out tmr.......AAAAAAAAARGH!
i just hope that he is sensible enough to protect himself and make sure that he doesn't betray me.. or elseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee................... waaaaaaaaahahhahaa.a..
but.i trust him.
hmm.. why you laughing? i really do...
who am i kidding.............
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
what do you do when you realise that your boyfriend has been keeping something bad from you and after 3 months he has decided to tell you?
do you thank him for being honest to you?
or do you kill him for even lying to you?
what should you do when you feel so disappointed? what do you do when the one you've depended on to pull you out of you bottomless pit is the one who threw you in? what do you do when you are so upset and the one who's supposed to cheer you up is the one who broke your heart?? what should you do when you don't know whether to trust him anymore? how would you know what is a lie and what is the truth?
it hurts to find out that you can't trust the one you love most.
i must have owed him lots in my previous life.
Ha. karma doesn't only go around in this life. it has been circulating for centuries...
the more you hope. the more you'll be disappointed.
Saturday, December 3, 2006
i know i have said some thing that might have hurt you in the past two weeks.. but remember that i love you so much! i really do! you mean the world to me.. so take care while i'm not around!! don't wreck havoc just cuz i'm out of town.. AND.. i had much so much fun ytd.. =)
i love being in your arms... happy belated 11 mths baby.. i love you!
******
had i known that it was our last date.. i would have cherished it more..
had i known that it was our last kiss.. i would have kissed you back with all the love i could muster..
had i known that it would be the last time i'd be in your arms.. i would have stayed longer..
i'll be the fool in this love.. i'm the fool cuz i still love you. and it hurts.
i'm not done grieving.. perhaps i should stop pretending everything is ok..
every item of his is still in my room.. momo is still in my arms every night.. i can't let go.. not just yet..
