i fear sleeping at night cuz i just might dream of him again.. (which i have done quite regularly the past week..)
i fear waking cuz then reality will hit me once again..

i fear handing up my stupid photography work cuz i know that i didn't put much heart into my work cuz i was busy thinking of something else...

i fear bumping into him cuz i would feel like running into those familiar arms, smelling that familiar scent and landing my lips on his for just one last time..

or even just his back..i wouldn't mind hugging once again.. a plant a kiss on his shoulder like i used to...

i just want to rot.. for just a while more.. so my dear friends.. just for a few more days... don't try pulling me up from this rut.. just for a few more days... let me be all emo and miss him..

cuz i've gone past anger.. now.. it just hurts.. a dull, unrelenting pain that hasn't decided to leave me yet.. every day passes in a blur and i seriously do not know what i am doing with my life..

slow down. let me catch my breath.. let me finish feeling all the pain... let me mourn..