[this is ytd's entry.. cuz blogger was under maintainence.. so its up today!]
i almost smoked today.
i know what you are thinking...
"hello?!?! you are the one that made such a big fuss about not smoking!!"
yes. i know. i know.
but i saw someone smoke today and it looked like a good way of relieving frustration.. OR. perhaps.. she's just pretty..
i just wanted to take a deep breath in and feel it burn.............. erasing everything......... i wanted to puff all my problems/hurt/emptyness out.. cuz it might just disappear like the smoke... i wanted to cough and tear and go into a fit of hysteria.. i want to gasp for fresh air for 5 mins.. then maybe i'll feel reborn......
but people.. remember.. i said almost. ALMOST. but i didn't. key word being almost.
another thing....... i've had my first meal in 4 days.. although it wasn't much.. at least i drank soup can? and no......... i do not have an eating disorder.... i just don't feel like eating.. really no appetite.. really.. i'm not trying to starve myself.. really.. and i hate puking.. so i'd much rather not eat.. then eat already then watch it all coming back up... okie?:) when i'm ready.. you will all know..... really......
ooooooooooo....and guess what else..
yes.. i know.. i smiled for the first time in days.. but that's not it.. haha.. look again!!
i have black hair!! i dyed my hair blackkkkkkk! long black hair now.. =) its theraputic.. serious..
[today's post!]
went to sch.. did the usual... psycho tut then photog lect.. same old same old..
then went to redo photog with my loveliess who are lifeless today.. everyone's so tired.. lugging around 4 kgs.. oh wells.. we will be regain our energy when everyone recovers =)
went to vivo.. and we literally laid under the stars.. although there were few..
dinner at secret recepie.. had some yummylicious cake.. ( see?? all better already :D)
Charmy
me
nana
its sad looking at couples now.. i feel bitter..and i do feel like slapping and telling them to stop being so mushy infront of everyone.. don't they realise that some people have lost everything?! so insensitve.. tsk tsk tsk.. hahaa.. kidding luh.. it will get better....
and. note to guys with weird plans in their minds. please leave me alone... really.. i'm not even done grieving. i'm not feeling tonnes better.. neither am i in the mood.. so please.. if you are going to ask me that question.... please don't. it will piss me off.. 2 in one day is just not funny..
