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Monday, January 08, 2007

i miss him.. i really do.. its hard..
but i don't miss the present him..
i miss the boy i fell in love with..
the sweet, ready to please boy..
the one who surprised me with flowers after work..
the one who'd go out of his way to get me food that i craved..
the one who came to my house during work break just to apologize..
the one who'd challenge me to "qing wa tiao" and keeps loosing..
the one who'd do and say silly things just to hear me laugh..
the one who I made plans with for the future..
the one who promised forever...


but no.. i don't miss the him that he has transformed into..
and reading back on my past posts ( dec 13)..
i had long realised that he has changed ..
he is no longer that boy i fell in love with..


so i will try my best not to miss him anymore.. cuz that boy i fell in love with.. he doesn't exist anymore.. he's only a part of my momories.. our memories.. good memories..


i will miss the company and the presence.. but my dear friends.. all of you have been amazing.. really.. thank you all so much for being here for me at my lowest point.. i really love you all.. esp those who comforted me when i was hysterical, in tears and homocidal occasionally suicidal.. quite unglam..


i finally got closure.. and i'm really thankful.. really grateful to you.. really.. i'm glad you reached out and pulled me out of the dark hole into the light and let me realise that everything i believed in were lies.. thank you for everything. =)


and gavin.. i posted pics of me crying and in pain.. so that the next time that i wanna go into a relationship or do something stupid of that sort... i will look at the pics and remember how painful it was... it serves as a reminder to think twice.. you will remind me though, won't you? haha..



11:14 PM